Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain!
by Amish-PalmPilot
Summary: Its bath time for Donkey and Diddy! Chapter 5 is now posted! Read and Review, or there will be no more chapters!
1. Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain!

**Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain!**

One day Donkey Kong and Diddy walked into Cranky's lab/house holding a coconut.

"Cranky!" They yelled. "We need to hide this here coconut from Candy! She is playing hide and go seek with it!"

"Holy bubbles! You young'ns are so loud! Hurts an old man's ears!" Cried the Crankster. Cranky walked down stairs and saw Donkey Kong and Diddy standing there. "You two are stinky! You need a bath!"

"A bath? What is the meaning of this?" Donkey Kong questioned skeptically.

"You've never taken a bath before?" It was more of a statement than a question. "That's terrible! No wonder you stink! Come, follow me. I will show you to the potty room."

"Cranky?"

"Yes Diddy?"

"What is the potty room?"

"It is the place where people go to sit on the throne, so to speak."

"Whoa!" Donkey yelled. "If I'm gonna be the king of Congo Bongo, I gotta go there more often!"

"No, you stupid! That's not the throne room! Well, it is, but it is... a different kind of throne. It is the place where people go when their bladders are full."

"Okie-dokie. That's why you spend so much time in there," Diddy said blasphemically.

"That's not funny. We are here now. I will run the bath water, and then you two can get in."

"Okie-dokie," they said together in unison.

"The bath water is ready!" Cranky announced. Diddy and Donkey Kong walked obediently into the potty room and climbed into the tub.

"What a strange sensation!" cried Donkey Kong.

"This is truly beautiful. I like feeling clean." Diddy commented as Donkey Kong splashed around happily.

"When you are done, drain the water." Cranky pointed to a small nob at the bottom of the tub. "Don't let yourself get sucked down. And don't forget soap!" Cranky left the bathroom and chuckled evilly for no apparent reason.

_Back in the bathroom_

"Oh this is so much fun, Diddy!"

"I know Donkey Kong."

"I love taking baths!"

"Yes Donkey."

"We should take baths every day!"

"Is that healthy?"

"I dunno. I suppose having fun has to be healthy. We could ask Cranky."

"Cranky knows everything, after all."

"Yup. He sure does. He has an answer for everything."

Diddy Kong said enthusiastically, "Yeah!!! We should go ask Cranky right now!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

They both stood up and were about to get out when Donkey realized they had to drain the water. So they sat back down and Diddy reached into the water and pulled the plug out. "Ooohhhhhh! The water is turning into a little tornado and going down, down, down!!" Diddy observed observantly.

"It's really cool! I like" Donkey observed observantly.

All of a sudden, Diddy's expression changed from happy and excited to quite troubled. "It's pulling at my fir. I don't like it!" he cried.

"Oh yeah!," Donkey realized, scratching his head, "Cranky told us to get out when we drain it. Lets go." Donkey stood up and got out of the tub. He heard some muffled noises but figured it was Cranky being his cranky self mumbling. He grabbed a towel for himself and another one for Diddy. "Hey little buddy, heres a tow- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIDDYYYYYYYYYYYY!" he screamed in horror as he looked at the tub and saw only Diddy's hand at the top of the drain, clinging on with all its might.

Donkey rushed over and grabbed his hand, in an attempt to pull him out. He pulled and pulled with all his might, and Diddy slowly came out. But just then the drain started pulling even harder. "CRANKY!!! COME HELP!!!!!! THE DRAIN IS INSANE!!!!" he cried in desperation, "hey.... "the drain is insane... that rhymes!!! I'm like a poet!!!

"DONKEY!!! SHUDDUP AND GET ME OUUUUT!!!" Diddy cried unhappily.

Cranky came running down the hall. But it seemed the closer he got, the harder the drain pulled, and the closer they got to the drain.

Cranky's heart was pounding in his chest as her ran faster and faster, trying to save those two stupid monkeys! He flung open the door and looked, horrified at the tub. He came in just in time to see Diddy scream as he was sucked into the infinite, dark abyss that was the drain!!!!! Donkey, arm began to get sucked into the drain!!! He pulled back as hard as he could, but it was to no avail. The top half of his body was slowly sucked in and his legs began to follow.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cranky yelled, and dove for Donkey's ankle. He grabbed on and tried to pull him out but he was a frail old man and failed to hold his ground. Donkey was pulled into the drain and lost for all eternity, Cranky, who was still holding onto his ankle tightly, was sucked slowly in behind him.

They were lost.

DUM DUM DUM!!!!!


	2. Of rains, big bigtoes, and lifesized poa...

Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain

Chapter two

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters.... Except Toto, if that counts.

We left the story last time with Donkey, Diddy and Cranky being sucked down the evil bathtub drain. Sucks, huh? Hahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! I made a funny............. ....I'll shut up now...

Back in the forest of Kongo Bongo, just as Cranky was getting sucked down the drain.....

Tiny Kong swung quickly through the trees. This was an anxious Tiny. This was an upset Tiny. This was a Tiny with a big-toe the size of a really, really, really, really, big doorknob. She finally dropped from the trees and landed clumsily on the ground. She waddled her way into Cranky's lab. "CRANNNNNNNNKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!" she wined, "MY TOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" She was quite distressed. She waited a couple seconds then realized no Cranky was coming.

So she began to waddle her way through the lab/house for Cranky when she heard and odd sound.

"IIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!"

It was coming from down the hall. She began to waddle in the direction of the cry. As she waddled with all her might down the hall, she realized it was coming from the bathroom. She went quickly for the door. "Cranky! Cranky! What is it???!!!"

THUDD!!!

She looked down and realized her toe was too big to fit through the door. She tried to jam it through, but it wouldn't fit!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAHHHHHHHAAH!!!"

She looked up from her big toe and saw.... DUN DUN DUN!!!!! ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!! gasps!!!

She studied the room and realized something had gone wrong. Horribly wrong. The walls were splattered with water. Towels lay wet on the floor. Cranky never let wet towels sit on the floor.

She stood in the room, just her and her pet gourd, Toto. She stood there longer. Then stood there some more. Then she got hungry so she ate Toto. Then she stood there some more. And then....

"Wooh! Where are we? What happened" she hear Donkey's voice, "and is there any food?"

"Donkey, your awake! We got sucked down an evil bathtub drain." She heard Diddy say.

"Shuddup, you hooligans!!!" Cranky said, "we need to figure out a way to get out of here!"

"Hey!!! Hey you guys!!" called Tiny, "it's me, Tiny! Where are you guys?!"

"We got sucked down the evil bathtub drain!!" called Diddy.

"That's right! We were just taking a bath when the drain went crazy and pulled us slowly into this infinite whole of blackness!!" Donkey said (his brain hurt after saying such a sentence.).

"That's nice, but you won't _believe _what happened to me! I was hanging out on banana fairy isle. The fairy was just sitting on her creepy, giant, banana throne, when I saw a unicorn balancing a fish on it's nose just outside( I swear, I did see it!). So when she went outside to take a look, I took a seat in the throne. Well, she came back in, "I didn't see the unicorn with the fi-"she stopped dead in her tracks and cried "YOU! BUT! ITS! NO! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOUR IN MY THROOOOOOOOOONE!!" I Think she took it a little too seriously-"

"You don't say!" Donkey said.

"well," Tiny continued, "she takes out her creepy, banana wand, and waves it at my big-toe. And now, it's the size of a really, really, really big doorknob! And that's why I had to come here for help."

"Wow! That must be awful!" Donkey said.

Tiny heard a loud SMACK! (which was Cranky's hand hitting the back of Donkey's head.) then heard Cranky say, "You idiot!! We just got sucked down an evil bathtub drain!!!"

"Really? Well, I guess that is pretty bad..." Donkey said.

Cranky mumbled then said, "and this is the generation that's going to elect the next president?!? We're all doomed!!" then began to mumble again.

"Uh, Cranky? Donkey _is _the next president."

"oh... yeah" Cranky squeaked, sounding sick.

Then Tiny heard a thud.

"Cranky? Are you okay?"

O O O

Tiny ran into a hut at the top of a huge tree (her toe was fixed. After Cranky came to, he told her to drink one of his potions that was lying out.). Lanky, Chunky, Candy and a life-sized poster of Legolas wearing a bikini were all there.

"Hey Tiny!" said Candy.

"Hey guys!!! You won't believe this!!! Donkey, Diddy, and Cranky all got sucked down and evil bathtub drain!!! Donkey and Diddy were just about to get out of their bath when the drain went crazy and-"she trailed off in her sentence. "Is that Legolas in a bikini? Why is that here?"

"Yeah, it is," Chunky said. "And its here because... why is it here?"

"I don't know," they both said.

Tiny shrugged. "Oh well." She said. Then she remembered what she had been sent out to do, get help. "You guys, we need to go to Cranky's labslashhouse right away!!"


	3. Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain Aga...

**Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain!**

Chapter 3

As Tiny, Chunky and Candy hopped happily toward Cranky's lab/house, Cranky, Donkey and Diddy remained inside the drain, unaware that Tiny had indeed gone for help.

"Ok, boys," Cranky began. "We need a plan."

"A plan for what?" Diddy Kong questioned, putting his hands over his ears for no apparent reason.

"This is war, Diddy! This is no time to be stupid!" Cranky shouted crankily. "Now. To begin, we must find a way out of the mess of pipes we now stand in, and no, we can not go back up the way we came." He looked accusingly at Donkey Kong.

"Why are you looking at me accusingly?!" Donkey fell to his knees as tears began to well up in his eyes.

"Shuddup, you demented fish," Cranky commanded. Donkey stood up and saluted Cranky in the noblest fashion he could muster.

"Continue with your plan, oh very old and decrepit one," Donkey said, as smoke flew from Cranky's ears.

After Cranky had calmed down some, he looked at the two young monkeys before him. "Diddy, you search to the left, Donkey to the right, and I will search for an opening in the third passage, although I will have to find the third passage before I do any real searching. Oh yes, Donkey, Diddy. Keep your eyes open. I find it makes it substantially easier to see in dark places such as this. Actually, it helps in light places too... Anywho, GET GOING, YOU JELLYBEANS!!!"

So the Cranky watched as the Jellybeans took off in the directions they had been told to go in.

Tiny hurtled up the steps to the bathroom, Chunky and Candy at her heals. They all wore snorklers, even though there was no need for them. Upon reaching their destination, Tiny shoved her hand down the drain and searched frantically for any sign of the missing monkeys. Unfortunately, just at that moment, the drain decided to take a very large breath, and began to pull poor Tiny Kong down to join the Cranky and the Jellybeans! Tiny struggled and struggled, but try as she might, she could not release her arm from the deathly cold grip of the demonic drain. After a short skirmish, Tiny was pulled into the frightening black abyss, leaving her snorkler behind, because she had suddenly decided that it might get in the way.


	4. Adventures in the Drain!

Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain!!!

Chapter 4

As our friendly jellybeans slid slowly through the disgusting pipes, Candy, Lanky and Chunky all stood horrified at the top of the drain, peering down to see if there was anything to be seen.

"......."said Lanky.

"......."said Chunky.

"......."said Candy.

"I like muffins" said a weird voice.

"......."said Lanky.

"......."said Chunky.

"......."said Candy.

I could go on forever with this, but instead, I will just say this, there was a long, aquared pause.

"Do you think it's safe?" asked Lanky.

"I don't know" Chunky said, "I know how to find out," he added. Lanky and Chunky both glanced at each other then nodded.

Both pairs of hand flew out and collided "accidentally" with Candy's back. Candy fell into the bathtub. She sat up. She had missed the drain by only and inch..... shoot!

"Wow!" she said, "That was a close one!! One inch closer and I might have gotten sucked down!!"

She was about to get up, when there was a slight mishap. The bottom of the tub was still wet and slippery from Donkey and Diddy bath earlier that day. As Candy was starting to stand up, she slipped and her pinky-toe touched the drain.

The demonic drain hesitated not one second to suck her into its evil tubes of turbulence!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed. Her toe was pulled into the drain, then her calve, then her knee and then her thigh. Duh. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! HELP ME YOU STUPID APES!!!!!!!!!!" she said, even though, she, herself, was a "stupid ape".

Lanky and Chunky simply just stood there. "Uh... I would help you," said Chunky, "but my legs just won't move." Chunky was making no actual attempted to move his legs.

Candy kicked her one leg, but it was to no avail. The leg was sucked slowly down the drain, bending in and odd, fashion as it went...... HAHA!

Lanky and Chunky were now having a pleasant conversation. And when the looked over at the drain, all they saw was Candy's hand sticking out. She has somehow managed to grab onto the top of the drain and was holding on. Lanky bent over and pried her fingers off.

"Whoops, he said".

O O O

"I haven't found a way out yet," called Diddy, "have either of you?"

"Take a wild guess, flea-brain!!" croaked Cranky.

"Guys," said Donkey, in a distraught tone, "I think I'm stuck."

"Oh well," said Cranky, "sucks to be you." Then he continued down his murky path of toiletry.

"Guess I'll just have a banana then" said Donkey, unraveling a banana.

O O O

"I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas! I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas! Oh lalalallalala! I like to eat, eat, eat ouples and bunonos! I like to eat, eat, eat, ouples and buno-"hey, Tiny stopped, "who is this?"

"It's me, Candy" Candy said.

"Oh!" said Tiny! "it's nice to see I have a companion. I think the others must be up here somewhere. Let's try and findthem." She said, and began to squirm her way through the tunnel.

They squirmed and squirmed until Candy stopped to take a break. "I'm to tired, Tiny," she said, "go on without me."

So Tiny went on. Couch. She traveled a long way. She was beginning to get frightened by the menacing pipes she was pulled into. She hearing things and wanting to look to see what they were, but the dark pipes would not allow her eyes to see anything. She was horrified the bog monster must be lurking somewhere in the pipes.

She wandered along, her mind playing tricks on her as she went. She began to move slower, for fear she might run into the horrifying bog monster which lay in front of her in her imagination. Her imagination. It was all in her imagination.

She began to tell herself this as she moved along when all of a sudden, she hit something and let out a shriek! She tried to back away, but she couldn't move!! And then-

And now for an interruption in our feature presentation...

DO YOU LIKE HAMBURGERS???!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSS YOU DO!!!! DO YOU LIKE FRIED CHICKEN?!???!?!??!?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSS YOU DO!!!! DO YOU LIKE POTAOES?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSS YOU DO!!!!! WELL NOW YOU CAN HAVE ALL THREE IN ONE!!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT!! JUST BUY HAMCHICKPOT!!!!!!!!! THIS DISGUSTING PROSSES FOOD IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT FOR DINNER!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS IT IS!!!! (pendulum starts waving in front of screan) ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT FOR DINNER!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS IT IS!!!! ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT FOR DINNER!!! YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS IT IS!!!! WE'RE NOT TRYING TO BRAIN WASH YOU!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE AREN'T!!!!!!

And now back to our feature presentation.

she realized it was only Donkey. "Why hello Donkey!" she said, "I thought you were the bog monster!" she said then began laughing. "So what's the holdup?" she asked.

"I'm stuck" Donkey said, with a hint of shame in his voice.

"Not if I can help it" Tiny said, then rammed her head against his rear. "Come on, Donkey, we're getting out of here!!!"


	5. In Which: Diddy is Drowning and Cranky h...

**Donkey Kong Country: Down the Drain!**

Chapter 5

"Yow!" Donkey Kong cried, as Tiny continued to ram her head into his poor bum. "You've broken me!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Shut up, Donkey you baby," Tiny scolded, as she once again charged towards Donkey's butt. This went on for some time. Now - back to the other characters.

Candy panted harshly as she lay, unmoving, in the middle of the large and uncomfortable pipe. She continued to lay there, unmoving. And she lay there, unmoving. And so she lay there, unmoving. And then she lay there, unmoving, some more.

Diddy scurried down the would-be-uncomfortable-pipe-but-for-his-small-size, in a terrible hurry. Up ahead, he saw a small light, and thinking it might be a way out, he ran ever faster. But it seemed that, with every step he took forward, the light took a step backward. Diddy was becoming very frustrated, and tired. So, he decided to take a break. He stopped running, and found that he was moving backward.

"What is this magic?!" he yelped as he realized that he would never catch the light at this rate. He became even more concerned when he saw that up ahead (or up behind, I suppose) there was... DUN DUN DUN! A sewer fall!

Poor Cranky ended up not being able to find the third passage (probably because there was no third passage to be found), so he decided to do the polka. Although he was old, frail, and decrepit, he managed to look quite graceful while doing it. Unfortunately, after a little bit of Polkaing, Tiny shoved Donkey out of the pipe he (Donkey) happened to have been stuck in, sending him careening through the twisted clutter of pipes, on the way knocking Cranky down and giving him hip failure. Cranky did not move much after that.

Candy lay there unmoving. And she continued to lay there – unmoving. And you know what she did? She lay there, unmoving, in a rather miffed mood.

Lanky and Chunky sat on the wet floor of Cranky's potty room, confused by all of the bewildering noises coming from underneath the floorboards and within the walls.

"Someone must be in trouble!" Lanky cried. "Quick, Chunky! We must get the paint scrapers and rip up the floorboards! Save the poor innocent little soul!" With that, the two monkey's dashed out of the bathroom, to return only when they had obtained the paint scrapers.

Diddy screamed as he crashed and banged his way down the Sewer fall. Below him he saw nothing. Finally, he stopped crashing and banging. He was surprised. Not because he was no longer crashing and banging, but because he was under water. UNDER WATER?!?

Diddy shrieked again, and began to swim upwards. He wasn't sure if he would ever see the light of day again... You will have to wait for the next chapter to find out what happens to him...

OOOHHH! CLIFFHANGER!


End file.
